Sunday, November 20, 2011

Its The Little Things..

So many times in life it seems we forget to slow down and savor the things that make life beautiful. We're too busy with our jobs, with our soap worthy dramas, our hectic social lives and our kids, to take a few moments and let ourselves be caught up in the magic of life. 

The magic is there, its ours for the taking but we've taken it for granted for so long that we've lost the ability to see whats right in front of us. We're so focused on instant gratification, the latest and greatest, and ourselves to even think to 'stop and smell the roses.' We don't look for the magic in life, we sit back and expect it to come to us; to make itself known to eyes that have been clouded by time and the smoke mirror magic we've all been dazzled with for so long. 

I'm guilty of just that very thing. All of it really. I'm a single stay at home Mommy to a 6 month old little girl, and although I don't have a hectic social life, or a 9-5 job, I too have robbed myself of being able to find joy and magic in day to day life. 

Since the birth of my daughter I've done better, and I've grown as a person but tonight as I was getting baby Soph ready for bed I was struck by the elusive magic. 

At the end of the day I'm usually ready to start pulling out my hair..or whats left of it after Sophie gets done with it. I thought I knew exactly what I signed up for when I had a baby, but boy, oh boy was I wrong. After helping raise each of my 23 nieces and nephews, at some point or another in their lives, I thought for sure I'd be an expert at child rearing. Turns out, it wasn't the cakewalk I'd been expecting. 

There's the hourly feedings, the bath times, the nap times, the oh-dear-lord-thats-one-dastardly-diaper times, the don't-put-that-in-your-mouth times and the lets-eat-mommies-face times. You've got to be conscious about what you put in their little tummies, what you wash their clothes with, what media you want them to be introduced to and so on and so forth. Its a whole different ball game when you have your own child, and its madness. 

So yes, I am guilty as charged..although every once in awhile I can catch a glimpse of the breath taking, awe inspiring wonders of life. 

I had just finished feeding Sophie and we were going through our bedtime routine: Eat, clean the little face, don the pajama's and change the little hinney. I've done this every nice for the last 6 months, so its an automatic sequence of events for us..but tonight as I was laying out Sophie's diaper, I happened to glance up at her and found myself just staring at her. 

She was laying on my bed, just gazing up at me; eyes crinkled at the sides, mouth turned up in a crooked half smile and a little dribble of drool running down her chin. Forget the fact that I go days, sometimes even longer with a shower because I'm too busy keeping up with her. Forget that I'm raising her without the help of a Father. Forget that I haven't had a day off since she was born. 

In that moment, with my daughter gazing up at me with all the love in the world reflected in her eyes, for me, I saw magic. Right in front of my very eyes, there it was. 

Its breathtaking. Its awe inspiring. No smoke screens, no illusions or sales gimmicks. It was pure magic, right at my fingertips. Right in front of me, where it had been all along, was a little dose of the beauty I overlook, and take for granted everyday...and it came in the form of a diaper change. 

I realize now, and hope I don't soon forget, that it really is the little things in life that make life great.