Sunday, January 1, 2012

to the 98%

I'd like to take a moment to laugh my a** off at the stupidity of 98% of the male population. You scratch your heads and wonder why women want nothing to do with you. You get your little feelings hurt when we don't take you seriously when you say, "I'm different from other guys." You get mad when we don't want to drop our panties just because you get a little blood rush down south..

Women sit around and talk sh*t about you because quite simply, you give us sh*t to talk about.

You think we care that your eyeballs leaked a little at the end of a chick flick that WE made you sit through? Hell no! You think we have a lower opinion of your masculinity if you don't browbeat us into having sex with you? Uhmm, h-e-l-l-o, its nice to not have our vagina's on call 24/7..You actually have some respect for your Mama? Guess what, we're going to want to marry you, not kick your decent a** to the curb.

I'm not saying men don't have a reason to complain about us girls too but holy mother mary of balls you guys! In an attempt to finally turn off the switch in your penises and turn on the switch to your brains, there must have been some kind of mass shortage of brain-cells. A genocide of the male brain. WAKE THE %^&* UP!

Do yourselves a favor. Go to the nearest book store and find a copy of the dictionary. It can be of any name you'd like, just get one. Heaven forbid you find some reason why you can't walk through the door of a store that carries materials containing intelligent information, go to the little search bar up top on your computer screen and type in WWW.DICTIONARY.COM.

Look up the words: Honesty, Responsibility, Monogamy, Date, Chivalry, Respect, and Commonsense. That's a pretty good start if you'd like to get anywhere near out of the giant cess pool you've landed yourself in with the female population.

Also, women LOVE it when they can actually have a conversation with you that doesn't revolve around these words: Penis, Vagina, Breasts, Football, Cars, Bodily Functions, or Testosterone. We try to keep up, we really do but having a conversation about these things with you is somewhere along the lines of trying to have a conversation with you about Tampons, Armpit stains and Child Birth. Don't be afraid to branch out.

Finally, just because I doubt any of you actually care enough to read this, IF YOU ACT LIKE A CREEPER, WE WILL TREAT YOU LIKE A EFFING CREEPER.

0 comments:

Post a Comment